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Liam’s Eleventh Month Home

This is your 18th month. You are walking pretty well now. We still shadow you and you still fall on your butt sometimes. But you are able to control your speed better, stop and turn. Sometimes you take several steps backwards trying to catch your balance then you will continue walking forward. Here is a summary of what you are doing: signs: night-night, music, bounce, bye-bye, hat, all done. You will brush your hair if I give you a hair brush. You will hold a toy phone up to your head and babble. You don’t always get it on your ear, sometimes it is on top of your head. You sometimes like to pick out your eye patch for the day. You get excited just before we put it on and when we take it off. You sit super still for both procedures. You understand the word “patch” and will pull at your patch if we say the word. You know what many words mean, even though you aren’t talking. You know who mom, dad, brother and doggy are. You will pull the plug in the tub if I ask you to. You come to us when we call you. You seem to know what “no” means though you choose to ignore it and stomp your foot when you don’t get your way. You seem to like wearing your shoes now and get excited when I tell you that we are putting them on. You like taking turns, sharing your toys. You like playing “ball.” If we ask you what noise a fish makes you will make a “fish” noise with your lips. We need to work on your fine motor skills. You have some trouble with your pincer grasp on your left hand. You can’t really isolate your left index finger and point with it like you do your right finger. You will give a hug when asked. I read you a book about a fire engine and you mimicked my “woo-woo” noise for the siren.
We are practicing walking on the grass to improve balance and coordination. You will fall quite a bit on the grass, but those protective reflexes that we hoped would come and we worked so hard for, are good. For me having you on the grass is less scary than inside of the house. The ground is nice and soft and I can place you in the yard away from anything that you can run into. You try to climb up on your brother Tommy and your dog, Skye for rides by lifting your leg up. You like to mimic your big brother Tommy.

This month we had an eye check up at your eye specialist. He wants you to wear glasses. He is hoping that if you can see better out of that eye, you will use it more. Your eyes still aren’t aligned and your right eye wanders out at times. So now we will be patching and wearing glasses. We will return to see him in 4 months.

At the end of the month at one of your teacher sessions, when you were trying to figure out a toy, you tried first with your right hand. Then you took your left hand and tried to work it. That was the first time we have seen you use your left hand when your right couldn’t do something!

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Liam’s Twelfth Month Home

This month marks the anniversary of your injury. It is nearly Christmas. It is a month of conflicting feelings. Your progress has been amazing, nothing short of a miracle. You are doing things that the doctors never thought you would be able to do. So the anniversary marks a triumph, in that you not only survived, but are a fighter who is healing in miraculous ways. But then there are the feelings of why should we have to feel triumphant for your gains in the recovery. This should never have happened to our sweet baby boy. As Christmas approaches, I feel a mix of dread and hope. All of our traditions that we are doing for the holiday are the same that we had done last year…until the day we got the call that you stopped breathing. We had Christmas shopping done, decorations up and cookies by the dozens all freshly baked. I know I must pull myself out of this dark place and be positive. I know I must make it a great Christmas, for your big brother and for you since last year you were both cheated. This is technically your first Christmas. Last year you were in a coma and it was still touch and go whether you would even live.

As I reflect I realize that I still have a lot of anger and sadness in me. The sadness gets all consuming sometimes, but I push it down and hold it there so I won’t implode. Holding back the tears is still a daily occurrence. From talking to other moms that have gone through this type of injury with their babies they tell me that I need to grieve the loss of my son that was born to me and embrace the new one that I have been given so that I may move on. I am not ready to grieve a son that was lost. My mind ventures down that road of thought, that we have lost our Liam, but there is something in me that refuses that theory. We even had someone at the hospital when you were still in a coma tell me that we needed to accept the fact that our Liam was gone, that that little boy was no longer. But I see glimmers of the Liam I knew before the injury and I still refuse that thought. Maybe I am in denial, but until you are bit older, I am holding onto that hope and I will persevere in it.

12th Month Week 1
You don’t want to wear your patch anymore. You rip them off as fast as I can put them on you. We got your glasses. They are cute, flexible blue Solo Bambinis. You totally hate them. We can’t keep them on for more than a few seconds. It is amazing how fast you can tear them off even with a strap securing them. You still aren’t able to pull to stand in the middle of a room without holding onto something for support. You were a bit stumbly during PT. We worry every time you exhibit some regression. Towards the end of PT your nose started to run. Ah a cold, that would explain the stumbles. When people are affected by TBIs their systems are very sensitive. A cold or even being tired can cause fatigue and balance issues. We are hypersensitive and worry that each time this happens that something more is going on, maybe a re-bleed or a secondary complication due to your injury; for these are real concerns that lurk out there for TBI recovery patients.

12th Month Week 2/Week 3
For the last couple of days you are really picking up on the signs. You now sign “hat”, “night night”, “more”, “all done”, “help”, and “bath.” You are using the “more” sign for “more” and “help.” Occasionally you will sign “more” with an upward arm raise to mean “help.” When I say the words “bath”, “scrub scrub” or “shower” you will sign “bath.” Yesterday you started to babble “ma ma ma…” again. You haven’t really done that in quite a while. If you want a drink rather than sign “drink”, you make an “ahhh” sound like you just took a refreshing drink of cold water. On Friday, you got up to stand from the middle of the floor once. Today you bent over and picked something off of the floor and stood back up without holding onto something. You balance is getter better. You like to “beep” our noses. You don’t say beep, you expect us to. If we talk about elephants you make a “wwwrrr” noise for an elephant. You also like to make a siren noise when we look at your book with the fire engine in it. You are still hard to get to sit still to read. You will sometimes leaf through the pages of your Big Animal Book, but you don’t have a very long attention span. Sometimes when you get mad if we tell you “No” a couple of times, you will make an “uh!” noise then slap us across the face…well mostly you do this to your dad…and your mom laughs…hee hee… You like to play with your phone. You try to hold it to your ear (well mostly on the top of your head but we are working on positioning) and make a “hello” type of noise, then you will hand it to us to “talk” on. Yesterday you looked at the picture of the horse on the wall and pointed. You made a sound that sounded like “dog” then pointed to the quilt wall hanging that grandma made with horses on it and made the same sound. You are using your left hand way more now. For a while there when you were bending down to pick something up off of the floor, you would hold on with your left hand and pick up with your right. Now sometimes you will pick up with your left as well. The grip is still a bit weak with the left index finger not working as well. But you are improving every day on this.

12th Month Week 4
You still fall quite a bit and have a slight limp, but you are getting stronger every day with your walking. You still don’t like wearing your glasses, but we persist in getting you used to them. The only time you will wear them and not bother with them is when you are outside. You love being outside and forget that you are wearing your glasses.
[Photo: 12th Month Recovery Notes This month marks the anniversary of your injury. It is nearly Christmas. It is a month of conflicting feelings. Your progress has been amazing, nothing short of a miracle. You are doing things that the doctors never thought you would be able to do. So the anniversary marks a triumph, in that you not only survived, but are a fighter who is healing in miraculous ways. But then there are the feelings of why should we have to feel triumphant for your gains in the recovery. This should never have happened to our sweet baby boy. As Christmas approaches, I feel a mix of dread and hope. All of our traditions that we are doing for the holiday are the same that we had done last year…until the day we got the call that you stopped breathing. We had Christmas shopping done, decorations up and cookies by the dozens all freshly baked. I know I must pull myself out of this dark place and be positive. I know I must make it a great Christmas, for your big brother and for you since last year you were both cheated. This is technically your first Christmas. Last year you were in a coma and it was still touch and go whether you would even live. As I reflect I realize that I still have a lot of anger and sadness in me. The sadness gets all consuming sometimes, but I push it down and hold it there so I won’t implode. Holding back the tears is still a daily occurrence. From talking to other moms that have gone through this type of injury with their babies they tell me that I need to grieve the loss of my son that was born to me and embrace the new one that I have been given so that I may move on. I am not ready to grieve a son that was lost. My mind ventures down that road of thought, that we have lost our Liam, but there is something in me that refuses that theory. We even had someone at the hospital when you were still in a coma tell me that we needed to accept the fact that our Liam was gone, that that little boy was no longer. But I see glimmers of the Liam I knew before the injury and I still refuse that thought. Maybe I am in denial, but until you are bit older, I am holding onto that hope and I will persevere in it. 12th Month Recovery: Week1 You don’t want to wear your patch anymore. You rip them off as fast as I can put them on you. We got your glasses. They are cute, flexible blue Solo Bambinis. You totally hate them. We can’t keep them on for more than a few seconds. It is amazing how fast you can tear them off even with a strap securing them. You still aren’t able to pull to stand in the middle of a room without holding onto something for support. You were a bit stumbly during PT. We worry every time you exhibit some regression. Towards the end of PT your nose started to run. Ah a cold, that would explain the stumbles. When people are affected by TBIs their systems are very sensitive. A cold or even being tired can cause fatigue and balance issues. We are hypersensitive and worry that each time this happens that something more is going on, maybe a re-bleed or a secondary complication due to your injury; for these are real concerns that lurk out there for TBI recovery patients. 12th Month Recovery: Week2/Week3 For the last couple of days you are really picking up on the signs. You now sign “hat”, “night night”, “more”, “all done”, “help”, and “bath.” You are using the “more” sign for “more” and “help.” Occasionally you will sign “more” with an upward arm raise to mean “help.” When I say the words “bath”, “scrub scrub” or “shower” you will sign “bath.” Yesterday you started to babble “ma ma ma…” again. You haven’t really done that in quite a while. If you want a drink rather than sign “drink”, you make an “ahhh” sound like you just took a refreshing drink of cold water. On Friday, you got up to stand from the middle of the floor once. Today you bent over and picked something off of the floor and stood back up without holding onto something. You balance is getter better. You like to “beep” our noses. You don’t say beep, you expect us to. If we talk about elephants you make a “wwwrrr” noise for an elephant. You also like to make a siren noise when we look at your book with the fire engine in it. You are still hard to get to sit still to read. You will sometimes leaf through the pages of your Big Animal Book, but you don’t have a very long attention span. Sometimes when you get mad if we tell you “No” a couple of times, you will make an “uh!” noise then slap us across the face…well mostly you do this to your dad…and your mom laughs…hee hee… You like to play with your phone. You try to hold it to your ear (well mostly on the top of your head but we are working on positioning) and make a “hello” type of noise, then you will hand it to us to “talk” on. Yesterday you looked at the picture of the horse on the wall and pointed. You made a sound that sounded like “dog” then pointed to the quilt wall hanging that grandma made with horses on it and made the same sound. You are using your left hand way more now. For a while there when you were bending down to pick something up off of the floor, you would hold on with your left hand and pick up with your right. Now sometimes you will pick up with your left as well. The grip is still a bit weak with the left index finger not working as well. But you are improving every day on this. 12th Month Recovery: Week4 You still fall quite a bit and have a slight limp, but you are getting stronger every day with your walking. You still don’t like wearing your glasses, but we persist in getting you used to them. The only time you will wear them and not bother with them is when you are outside. You love being outside and forget that you are wearing your glasses.]
 

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Liam’s Thirteenth Month Home

We had a nice Christmas. You didn’t really understand opening your presents. Maybe next year you will be more into unwrapping presents. As far as walking goes, you still do some side stepping and backwards stepping to regain balance, but you are improving. You got to go outside and play in the snow and sled with Tommy. You loved it. When it was time to come in you threw a temper tantrum, with big tears. For Christmas you got a couple of toys which involve dropping coins into a slot (cash register and cd player). You are getting the hang of it and can get them in by yourself most of the time. We are helping you use your left hand to do this. Yesterday I took your left hand during snack and made a pincher grasp to hold a pretzel for you to eat. Tonight during snack you tried to feed yourself with your left hand using the pincer grasp. You were almost able to do it.

You are fighting about wearing your glasses. You don’t like them. You are also having temper tantrums if you don’t get your way with screaming and big tears. You are now signing: bath, hat, night-night, dog, book, all done, more, help, shoes, light, fan, and. You are saying “uh-uh” for uh-oh and “uup” with an almost silent “p” for up. I have gotten you to say “dddhh” when you want down. It is a start. You also say “brrruder” for brother. You like to try to wiggle your eyebrows…you end up scrunching up your face and nose and blinking instead. You give kisses and hugs. Your static balance is even better. You can squat down and play with something for a few moments without falling over. Then you just stand upright and move onward. You aren’t riding your ride-on toys yet. The turtle you got for Christmas is just a bit too high for you. You will sit on your ride-on car for a moment, but not move it.

Liam’s Fourteenth Month Home

You are still having rough nights, sometimes being up from 1:30am until 4am. You are signing light on/off as one sign now. You use it basically to mean operate a switch; when you want to turn lights on/off, when you needed help opening up your sippy cup which had a switch-like cap and when one of your toys was switched off. Words: you say “up” to be picked up and “ddd” to be set down. You say “da da” and “bbbrbrrr” for brother. Today you pointed at a picture of Tommy and said “bbbrbrrr” and smiled. You are making fish noises when you want to see the fish or when I draw one. You will say “sssss” when I make a “ssss” noise when we are reading a book with a snake in it. You are almost running. You like to try to climb up on things. You have much better static balance and can stand in one spot for a few minutes. You have walked backwards a couple times while pulling a toy. Last week you were all about spinning. You would spin in a circle, round and round you went. Haven’t seen you do it this week yet. You like to “high 5” when you do something correct. You even “high 5” with your left hand. Signs that you use left hand: “high 5”, “night night” and “all done”. I am trying to get you to use your left hand when you sigh “bath.” You aren’t showing too much interest in your shape sorter. You can do the circle pretty well as long as you look at what you are doing. You tend to look everywhere but at the sorter. You will watch your brother and try to cram the shape in. You are still having trouble getting the coins into your piggy bank toy if we tilt the angle of the pig so that the slot is not parallel with you. We are working hard at naming body parts. Sometimes you will point to your ears, feet, nose and tummy and then other times not at all. Your physical therapist is working on stepping up/down on a balance beam. You step up decently with support, but when you step down you kind-of just stumble off of the board. Your ability to sit and pay attention to books is increasing. In general you don’t like to sit still. You are still not too happy laying down in the tub to have your hair washed. You are starting to tolerate it a little bit better. It is odd because you used to love to lay on your back to get soaped up. Maybe you got water in your ears once when you were bathed, we don’t know. You like to try to stand in the bath tub or go on tall knees, when you do this, I will give you a “mad” look and you will laugh hysterically. You lifted your foot up on the side of your crib like you were going to climb out. You still aren’t using your ride-ons. You like to push them around and sit on them, but you haven’t figured out how to push yourself around on them using your feet. You are using your Etch-a-Sketch all the time now to scribble. You also like to scribble in the tub. You sometimes use an advanced grip, but you still fall back on palmer grip. You still are whipping your glasses off. When I ask where your belly is you will pat your belly (or just above) and say “belwee.”

You got your second official hair at the mall. Since the hair salon didn’t open until noon (it was Sunday) I took you and Tommy to the play area to have a little fun. You loved it. I did not. I was overcome with intense anger with the realization that you couldn’t just “go play.” How unfair it was for you. That had somebody not hurt you, you would have been a normal, rough and tumble boy. I had to guard your every move with fear of another child crashing into you, hurting you. I couldn’t just let you climb the slide and go down it by yourself like the other children your age were doing. It was so scary having all those kids run around you. Your brother was so sweet setting you in his lap to take you down the slide. You had such a big smile on your face. He also helped to guard you against the other kids.